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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels overwhelmed and ashamed about his behavior, rendering him highly sensitive to disapproval from external sources. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits online – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. However, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t previously arrived at that realization by himself. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – particularly if they feel a sense of being better. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

Although people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, definitions vary what is meant by the diagnosis. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people conceal it, due to widespread prejudice around the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like seeking admiration,” the expert explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

Although a significant majority of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings points out this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the less obvious variety, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, just kind of like everything in society,” says a young adult who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she says, “because if I hear that the issue lies with me, I often enter a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models as a child. I’ve had to teach myself over the years which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my household were insulting me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be connected with early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” notes a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

Like several of the NPD-diagnosed people, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and career success, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, finds it hard to manage mood stability. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the patient queue for a year and a half: The estimate was it is likely to occur in a few months.”

John has only told a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is always a good thing,” he comments. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the existence of NPD content creators and the expansion of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number