Late-Night Hosts Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Program
TV's prominent entertainers devoted the evening criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's newly launched visa initiative, dubbed the "gold card," characterizing it as a obvious pay-for-access scheme for the rich.
The Late Show's Pointed Analysis
Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical Christmas tune directed at the president. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then handing that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... destroys each thing he touches."
Colbert's target was the controversial program which allows overseas nationals to acquire U.S. legal status for the price of one million dollars, with a "platinum" option for $5 million. An official page guarantees processing "in record time."
"A quick note for you to affluent applicants: before you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.
He explained that the scheme is also meant to "get cash" from firms looking to hire foreign workers, requiring large payments. "That is a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choosing – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he said.
"Unprecedented background check the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals completely meet the standard to be in America."
"That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"
Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Critique
On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."
"It's a card that will permit rich overseas citizens to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your choosing."
"It might be time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your tired masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.
Kimmel lampooned the simplicity of the application, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."
"Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."
Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Issues
Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging poll ratings amid economic concerns. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term since they were mad about the economy," he said.
This week, in a bid to tackle cost of living, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a selection of food items, where he reacted peculiarly to boxes of cereal.
"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."
"He's so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"
Meyers finished by targeting right-leaning news coverage of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he laughed.
